


Feels Like I'm About to Crash

by CeliaLestial



Category: Jamie Johnson
Genre: Coming Out, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, but im desperate, dillon's dad sucks, dont question it, i haven't really written fanfiction before, idk where the title came from, im sorry if this sucks, there is barely anything for this fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:09:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24813598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CeliaLestial/pseuds/CeliaLestial
Summary: Dillon comes out to his family.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	Feels Like I'm About to Crash

**Author's Note:**

> This fandom has barely any fanfiction, so I wrote something. Sorry this was so short, please let me know if you want this to be a series. It might just be a oneshot. I'd appreciate feedback; it can be positive or negative, as long as it's constructive. Enjoy, I guess? This definitely sucks I'm sorry.

“I-uh,” Dillon rubbed his hands against his shorts, unsure if it was an attempt to ground himself or wipe the nervous sweat off, maybe both. “I...” he started again.

“Well out with it, boy.” His father groaned, “You’ve had us sat here for a good five minutes now. You haven’t killed someone have you?”

Dillon's mouth upturned in a strained smile. “Heh, no nothing like that.” 

Liam stared at him across the kitchen table. He seemed to be waiting for something. Dillon couldn’t quite tell if he was hoping for his failure or success. Ever since the cup final, his little brother had been on edge. Despite his reinstatement on the team, the boy continued to argue with anyone who’d respond. Dillon had lived with Liam's outbursts for years, but lately they seemed more targeted, focused on Dillon himself. He reckoned it came from his father. Pressure loomed over the brothers, infiltrating their every action, constantly hoping to make the man proud. Liam was newer to the stress, less acclimated than Dillon. He didn’t know how to handle it, often taking his emotions out on those around him. 

Dillon didn’t want to paint their father as the villain. All he wanted for his sons was their success. It just felt like he had this idea of who they were and who they wanted to be. He didn’t seem to understand that most of their aspirations were his dreams, not their own. Dillon loved football. He loved his dad. He couldn’t let him down. His entire life had been devoted to making him proud, and now these feelings were getting in the way. He couldn’t be gay. His father wouldn’t understand. Maybe his mum would. She’d been working more lately, Dillon thought it might have to do with his father. It wasn’t just pressure that flowed through the family. Burning anger felt ingrained in their bones. It could have been learned, Dillon supposed. He was learning to deal with it, though it was difficult. His father was mad all the time. Screaming woke him up in the night, leaving Liam grumpy and sleep-deprived while Dillon tried his best to ignore the fact that his mum had taken another late shift.

 _Deep breaths,_ he told himself. _You’re okay. You can do this._ His whole family was gathered around the table. He looked to his mum, receiving a gentle smile in return. It should have calmed his nerves, but it ignited them instead. This was a bad idea. This was a very bad idea. She’d never look at him like that again. Instead, he’d be faced with disgust and hatred. He didn’t know if he could handle that. He blinked. Once. Twice. Tears began to well up in his eyes. _Deep breaths,_ he told himself again. 

Staring down at the table, he started once more, “I’m gay.” It sounded more like a question. 

“What?” came his father’s voice. 

“I’m gay,” said Dillon, a bit more confidently. 

“This is from that Elliot kid, isn’t it?” Dillon looked up at his dad. 

“What? No, I think I’ve known for a while-“

“Liam told me about him. The whole family of freaks. I shouldn’t have let you hang around with that girl so much.”

“Dad, no. You’ve got it wrong. Don’t blame Ruby or Elliot, it’s not their fault. This is me and I can’t control it.” Dillon’s breath began to quicken again. Tears were falling down his face and he was powerless to stop them. Liam sat confused. His mother’s eyes bore into his face. 

“Look at me, dear.” she took his chin in her hand, turning him toward her. “I love you very much, nothing will ever change that.”

“You’re just going to let him choose this-this lifestyle?” said his dad incredulously. “Joanne, you cannot seriously be okay with this. It’s not right!” His fist slammed onto the table. 

“He’s our son. When he was born we promised to love him no matter what.” she stared him down defiantly.

Tears flowed freely down Dillon’s cheeks now. “I didn’t choose this!” he insisted. His dad looked at him with disgust. He didn’t believe him. He wasn’t going to believe him. “I didn't choose this,” his voice tapered off. He hung his head. How could he explain that this wasn’t what he wanted either? All he wanted was to make his father proud, to make him love him. “I’m sorry.” 

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, before getting up and running out of the house.


End file.
